unapologetically linguistically longing - by hil hoover

unapologetically linguistically longing - by hil hoover

we all have our vices. 

if you think you can sit there 

working on your third cigarette of the day, 

your second cup of coffee, 

your poker game, your toxic relationship, 

your unmade bed, 

your collection of useless

things that you’ll never

throw out just in case 

and give me any kind of life advice, 

you don’t know me at all.

i made myself a promise not 

to have any regrets when 

my life was over

and so far 

i’m sticking to that

even though

i’m kind of not sure 

what my life qualifies as 

given I’m no longer quite 

either alive or myself. 

sure, sure, 

it was a book that opened 

my third eye and let me tell you

that’s a hell out of headache 

when some inconsiderate bastard 

walks into the room where i am 

peacefully sitting in the dark 

and turns on the dreaded BIG LIGHT. 

and sure, sure, 

it was those words in some 

archaic language that i fumbled

aloud from a crumbling scroll

that caused these extra 

appendages to start slowly 

creeping their way out from 

under my skin, 

but can’t I now pet several dogs 

at the same time, 

carry all the groceries, 

give really intense hugs? 

and sure, sure, 

we all know that it’s not 

technically a GOOD thing 

that demon swallowed Kevin 

whole 

after we sounded out the 

syllables 

carved into that cave wall, 

but let’s be honest, 

how much did you REALLY like that

guy anyway? there’s no point lying to ourselves about it, 

his jokes were wearing very thin.

and look, 

feel how soft this cover is, 

how comforting when it hums 

a bit under your fingers, 

rather like a purring cat? 

just one peek inside 

can’t possibly 

hurt, 

right?

you’re going to die of cancer or 

diabetes or poverty or 

maybe just a heartache 

if you continue on this path 

anyway, 

so wouldn’t you rather 

eat every bit of knowledge

you can stomach 

before the darkness takes you?

i can quit anytime i want, 

but we all know 

i’ll quit when i stop having 

eyes to see or a tongue to whisper 

because

we all have our vices, 

and needing to read, know, 

speak truth beyond everything 

is mine.