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  • Writer's pictureHil Hoover

these friggin bats

someone please tell me what it is about

this house, this completely normal house

that looks like every house on the block

that entices and seduces every bat in the


to come flocking to the

rafters, to the porch, into every window

that gets left open, every screen that

gets bent, snagged, torn, gapped,

or hell,

some days I have no idea how they

are getting in, don't know what door

or window, nook or cranny could have

been at fault, what strange point of entry

they could have squeezed through this


but there it is, a tiny little critter

the size of my thumb, or a giant thing

with a terrifying wing span, or a

whole bunch of them hanging around

in the kitchen like a gaggle of girls

having a sleepover, and how how how

did these friggin bats get into my house?

And how do I get them out, without

disturbing them, disrupting them,

causing them any trouble, because

I don't want to hurt them at all,

even if they're all up in my space,

they're perfect little beings who

don't deserve to have their days

ruined by the likes of me, and...

it's me, isn't it?

I really need to do something

about attracting all these

frigging amazing beautiful

but also really inconvenient


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