Everscream Times day 21 by Omar Najam

ALT TEXT: Everscream Times Headline: ancient amulet so impressive it has local teen's head spinning Sub header: fervor over artifact causes a stir! Body text: They say it takes a village to raise a child. But one local teen is testing this village’s patience.

It started earlier this evening when the MacNeil family came home to their daughter Regan raising all sorts of hell. And the neighbors have noticed.

“Honestly, she’s being annoying,” says barber shop owner and PTA president Stephanie Bigelow, who has lived in the east side neighborhood for over ten years. “It’s a lot yelling. A lot of cursing. And honestly, and I don’t say this lightly, a disrespectful amount of Ancient Latin.”

“Teens rebel as a form of psychological distinction,” explains Stephen Peele, the head of the teen center in town. “It’s a way for adolescents to form their own sense of identity, independent and, sometimes, directly oppositional from parental and authority figures. Despite what the media tells us, it’s a healthy and natural thing.“ 

But Mrs. Bigelow thinks it’s anything but.

“Is it natural to yell like that? Is it natural to projectile vomit like that? Is it natural for your head to spin around and for you to crawl on the ceiling like that? It’s nothing I ever did as a child. I didn’t even smoke cigarettes until I was 35.”

Here’s hoping the whole thing is just teen angst and not something we will need to worry about for generations to come.